Three Chairs

Girl Books that Boys Should Read

"When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers I kind of wanted to be a vampire."

~ Angelina Jolie

In the first 19 weeks of my first pregnancy, I was absolutely convinced I was having a girl.  This was based on nothing.  I didn't hold a ring on a hair above my belly, or look at Chinese calendars, or do anything with Drano.  The reason I was convinced that I was having a girl was that I had to have a girl.  It was mandatory.  I looked back on my own life as a very insecure, conflicted, anxious girl, and at the path I had taken to become a confident, happy, independent woman, and I knew that the best thing I could do with those experiences was to pass the Cliff Notes on to my own girl.

Then in week 20 I found out I was having a boy.  What the hell was I going to do with all that girl-growing-into-a-strong-woman knowledge?  It took a few days, but when the answer came, it was crystal clear: I had an obligation to pass all of my hear-me-roar information on to my boy.  Perhaps it was just as important to pass it on to a boy as a girl, because boys are so intertwined in all the reasons that girls in our society are perceived the way they are, and why they perceive themselves the way they do.

So, here we are, nine+ years later, and I have two boys.  And yesterday, my nine-year-old boy, a voracious reader, said to me, completely out of the blue, "How come in all the books I read the girls are always worried, and the boys are always adventurous?" and I was reminded of my obligation.

In all fairness, he asked me why books portray things this way - he didn't do or say something that indicates that this is how he views the world.  But still, it gave me pause.  So I've decided to stack the decks a little bit, and I've asked my friends (and the internet) to suggest books that portray girls in an independent, strong, positive way.  This is the list that I've come up with so far.  If you leave your suggestions here, I'll edit them into the list.

• Airborn by Kenneth Oppel (grades 6 and up)
• Alanna (The Song of the Lionness series) by Tamora Pierce (grades 5 and up)
• Anne of Green Gables (series) by L.M. Montgomery (grades 4 and up)
• Brave Irene by William Steig (grades 1-4)
• Breadcrumbs by Anne Ursu (grades 3 and up)
• Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (grades 4 and up)
• The City of Ember (Books of Ember series) by Jeanne DuPrau (grades 3 and up)
• Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (grades 7 and up)
• Eliza's Cherry Trees: Japan's Gift to America by Andrea Zimmerman (grades K and up)
• The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede (grades 4 and up)
• The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate by Jacqueline Kelly (grades 4 and up)
• From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg (grades 6 and up)
• The Great Wall of Lucy Wu by Wendy Wan-Long Shang (grades 3 and up)
• Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh (grades 5 and up)
• Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell (grades 5 and up)
• Island's End by Padma Venkatraman (grades 5 and up)
• Mahalia Mouse by John Lithgow (grades 3 and up) - added  to this list 12/9/11
• The Mysterious Benedict Society (series) by Trenton Lee Stewart (grades 3 and up)
• Odetta: The Queen of Folk by Stephan Alcorn (grades 1 and up)
• The Penderwicks Series by Jeanne Birdsall (grades 3 and up)
• Savvy by Ingrid Law (grades 3 and up)
• The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett (grades 1 and up)
• A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket (grades 5 and up)
• Sister Bear: A Norse Tale by Jane Yolen (grades K and up)
• The Sisters Grimm (series) by Michael Buckley (grades 3 and up)
• The Taxing Case of the Cows: A True Story About Suffrage by Peqi Deitz Shea (grades 1 and up)
• Theodosia (series) by Yoko Tanaka (grades 3 and up)
• Tillie the Terrible Swede by Sue Stauffacher (grades K and up)
• Queen of the Falls by Chris Van Allsburg (grades 1 and up)
• Viola Desmund Won't Be Budged by Jody Nyasha Warner (grades K and up)
• Where the Mountain Meets the Moon by Grace Lin (grades 3 and up)
• Zita the Space Girl by Ben Hatke (grades 3 and up)

Other interesting stuff:

The Amelia Bloomer Project: Recommended Feminist Literature for Birth through 18

Flashlight Worthy: Books for Strong Girls in Middle School (and other great book lists and recs)

Good Reads: Popular Strong Girl Character Books (book reviews and lists)

www.arbookfind.com: Search for book titles based on authors, topics, or titles of books

Why Strong Female Characters are Bad for Women, an entertaining article by Shana Miawski

Of Crack Whores and Academy Awards

"In infinite space, even the most unlikely events must take place somewhere. There are infinitely many other inhabited planets, including not just one but infinitely many that have people with the same appearance, name and memories as you, who play out every possible permutation of your life choices."

~Max Tegmark

I am well aware that I am a crack whore in a parallel universe.  I feel it.  My life is comprised of several decades of hairline decisions, choices that could have easily spiraled the rest of my life in completely different directions.  And I'm not just talking about my decisions, but those of my parents, too, and possibly everyone I've ever met.

Somewhere, in a basement studio apartment with roaches and no hot water, I am bouncing a filthy baby on my scrawny hip and wondering if my most recent boyfriend is drinking away his disability check.  I have track marks up and down my arms and between my toes, but I am trying desperately to stay straight.  I sometimes wish I had finished high school.

But that's OK, because in another parallel universe I'm living in a 10,000 square foot home perched high on a cliff above the Pacific Ocean.  Gordon Ramsay is whipping me up a scrumptious dinner, which I will eat with my husband, Colin Firth, before my driver pulls around with one of my many custom-designed cars and drives me to the Academy Awards where I will accept yet another Oscar for Best Actress.  Actually, I might have track marks between my toes in this universe, too.

In yet another I have a uni-brow, 16 cats, and a closet of pastel, polyester pantsuits.  I work for the Motor Vehicle Department in Cuevitas, Texas and am often hit on by old men who want me to "fix" their emissions records and pass their '76 El Dorado's.  Sometimes I consider going out with them, because I love Red Lobster, but I never do because my cats need me.  I eat a lot of Hormel products in this universe.

Maybe most disconcerting is the universe in which I am mostly me, but with a successful photography and freelance writing career, with kids that are extremely well-behaved, my own study, a well-toned body and lots and lots of energy.

This near-me existence scares me the most because I'm pretty sure it would be attainable if I just worked a little harder, tried a little harder.  The others represent my worst nightmares and, in the case of those academy awards, my wildest fantasies (a fantasy being not a dream but something you think about but probably wouldn't act upon). 

Perhaps the more important issue when considering parallel universes is this:  Am I OK where I am now?  And the answer, for the most part, is a resounding YES.  It's better than YES.  It's more along the lines of, "Crap, my life is so good, what if it weren't this good?"  There is however, always room to reach a bit toward that slightly better place; a bit of cosmic real estate waiting to be claimed.